The night I was saved I couldn’t lie down as I’d broken a rib and it was painful.  I used to watch YouTube on my phone late into the night.  I started noticing a man talking about the Lord Jesus and the gospel.  I used to think Jesus and God was just for Catholics, nuns and priests, and the Ten Commandments was a film.  This night I was emotionally drained.  I couldn’t stop crying.  I was tired and wanted to end things.  I was so sad, but in the middle of my tears, my mind started to clear, and I could hear what was being said.  It was like I understood Jesus sacrifice.  I dropped to my knees and begged to be forgiven.  It wasn’t long before my tears dried up, and for the first time in a long time I was not alone.  I couldn’t see anyone or hear anyone, but I could feel someone.  I felt so much love and peace.  I felt so bad for the things I’d done, sins I’d committed.  That night I was freed from the urge to smoke cigarettes and weed.  I put whatever life I had left in the Lord’s hands.  I gave whatever time I had left to him.  I put all cigarettes, weed and drugs in the bin. 

It’s been 2 years in April 2025.  I go to a wonderful church.  I love everyone there, and I’m grateful to the Lord Jesus, our heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit.  I’m aware that it was by the grace of God that I was awakened.  

My Dad was the town’s Baptist Minister, but instead of embracing the faith of my parents I just saw Christianity as a list of things that you could and could not do. To be truly free, I thought, was being able to enjoy the pleasures of life and being answerable to no one.

So, when I went away to study for my degree, I thought I was free at last! For a while it was so great. Now my lifestyle was all about living for the moment with excessive drinking and riotous behaviour.  That’s a great way to live or so I thought. Sadly, being the influence of drink resulted in me doing some terrible things and soon I began to realise I wasn’t free at all.

There is always a price to pay for living this kind of life and it will always catch up with you sooner or later. My best friend from these years tragically died an alcoholic recently and my story would have been similar but for the grace of God who is rich in mercy.

I realised that my life was empty without God but would He ever forgive me for all the wrong things that I had done? Some nights I used to shudder as I thought of where I would spend eternity if I suddenly died.

After getting my degree I returned home and started my first job for a local newspaper. It was there that I met my future wife Anita who was searching for God too. We got engaged and the Pastor of our local Evangelical church agreed to marry us. It was while attending one of the services that Jesus reached down His hand for me. I heard that it was for sinners like me that Jesus had died on the cross at Calvary and He would never turn away any sinner who would come to Him. He took the punishment of all my sins, my guilt and shame that I might go free!

I gave my heart to the Lord Jesus Christ that night and invited Him into my life as Lord and Saviour. Now I began to experience what true freedom really is. There is a verse in the Bible in John 8:36 that says “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. Jesus came to this world to give us life to the full and to satisfy the deepest needs of our soul. He puts eternity in our hearts and we will live with Him forever. Gone was all the regrets and the guilt and the shame of my previous life. Those sins are remembered by God no more because Jesus paid the price for me with His wonderful love.

Anita gave her heart to Jesus a few weeks later and our lives have been blessed with God’s love and peace. Life hasn’t always been plain sailing in the 34 years since and there will be storms in our lives, but Jesus has always given us the strength and peace within to get through the difficult times.

During this time one of my close friends passed away from cancer at just 31 years old. Looking back I believe her early death started me thinking about my Heavenly Father.  Where did I stand in His eyes? Did He care about me? Would I go to Heaven or Hell?  What about my soul, was it so black and hard that I would never be able to go Heaven.?All these questions buzzed around in my mind, giving me no peace whatsoever and I continued to be troubled by my sins.  Should I go to Church? Yes that’s it I’ll go to Church but which one? I had not stepped inside a Church for many years.

 The Lord knew that I would never make that step on my own and He started to stir my conscience to look for Him. Soon after things started to happen rapidly (I later found that a friend and my lovely mum where praying for me). Rob my future husband came into my life and because his father was a Christian Minister I began to ask questions. I really wanted to know if the Jesus he spoke of in the Bible would really forgive all the bad things I had done and pardon me. I went to a local church where I lived and as I listened to the sermon about Jesus going to the cross, it was then I realised that He had died for me personally.

I pondered over the next few days all I had heard and I knew that to accept this gift of salvation I needed to ask Jesus into my heart. With this in mind, I went upstairs to the quiet of my bedroom and confessed my sins prayerfully asking my Saviour Jesus for forgiveness. When I woke in the morning, I had a total sense of His presence in my heart – even the people at work noticed a difference!  I was at peace.

A few months after we were saved, Rob and I married and joined a local church where we able to worship with other Christians and serve Him as a couple.

Over 34 years have passed and I am still following my Lord and so thankful to Him for saving my soul. In grief and joy He has been with me and I know that my Saviour will take me to Heaven to be with Him when my time comes.

Finally, I would like to share with you this verse in the Bible.

 Jeremiah 29 v.13

 And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

I left for University to pursue a course in mechanical engineering knowing nothing about the bible. I had no background in Sunday school or church attendances of any kind. My course started with an industrial placement back at my sponsoring company Hawker Siddeley Aviation  in Hull and it was there that I got my first taste of church. I lived in a bed-sit and being somewhat bored on a weekend was invited by a friend to go to church with him. His first name was Rod and another Rob awaited me at church so they duly called me Bob and it has stuck ever since.

Here I heard sound preaching on the gospel but understood little and was not awakened by the teaching save to understand I was not a Christian. So when they took communion I declined to participate.

Next it was off to university and here I quickly joined a group of young people and started leading bible studies even though I had no real understanding of the gospel message . This in itself is not unusual, famous preachers of the past did exactly the same, one even crossing the Atlantic to proclaim a message he did not really understand. Thankfully God in his mercy open the preachers eyes and in due time He did so for me also.

Soon I encountered a zealous Christian called Ian Mairs. He was in his third year and was associated with a group called the Navigators. He declared the gospel to me and showed me from the bible that I was a sinner and needed to be converted. I did not accept his message and we argued frequently. Ian however was very patient, I remember after a visit to see me and the usual disagreement he would pause at the door as he departed and leave me with a reference form the scripture. When he had gone I would turn up the reference and find on every occasion that he was right in what he had said to me. Soon I went with him to a church. We used to travel in a friends old Reilly car, the type with the long front wheel arches and I used to stick my arm out of the car and collect flowers from the verge while we sped along at 50 mph. The minister was Pastor Cooper. He was a godly old man with a warm presentation of biblical truths. I attended church each Sunday for about 6 months during which time God opened my eyes to the truth. I now understood what sin was and that my only answer to my condition was Jesus Christ.

My conversion followed, exactly when I cannot tell but the impact upon me was evident for all to see.

I joined those who witnessed on campus. We were called the God squad; if we entered an accommodation block in the evening with a view to declaring the gospel the students would turn up their stereos and drown us out. It was the same in the meal hall; men would take their trays and sit somewhere else. Alas the same was true of my father. I remember wrangling with him on the corner of the street. He had seen a change in his son which was not to his liking. Much of this was understandable; when first converted the heart is full of joy and misplaced zeal. It is such a marvellous experience to be converted that you simply cannot stop yourself wanting to tell other people.

One of my favourite passages in the bible shows the Apostle Paul  trying to describe the very same experience of conversion to a king. He puts it like this: I would to God, that not only you, but also all that hear me this day, were both almost, and altogether such as I am, except these chains. Paul is a prisoner which explains the reference to chains but he is longing that the king might know this experience of conversion. Later another man shouts out - Paul, you are beside yourself; much learning does make you mad. This is an understandable reaction, many do not think conversion is a real experience but I can assure you it is a life changing event that will leave you blessing and praising God for the rest of your life.